Uncontrollable
by amygerrard
Summary: It's New Year's Eve and Elena can't help but have urges reminiscent of a ripper. Deciding she needs help to develop them, she goes to the only vampire she can; Damon. Set after 4x09.


**AN: Another o/s for the A2A exchange on LJ. I hope I've done it justice! Enjoy!**

Prompt by rain_sunsets:_ Elena wants to explore her bad/ripper side and goes to Damon to help her develop it. Would prefer it be angsty or smutty or both._

__**Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Vampire Diaries'.**

* * *

Elena trudged through the store listlessly, picking up random items along the way that, after a quick scan of the label, she decided Jeremy would like. When she had searched through the cupboards that morning, she hadn't been surprised to find them practically empty without even enough food for a mouse. With Jeremy away at the lake house with Damon, practising his hunter skills and discovering that God-damned map for the cure, she hadn't needed to keep up with the pretence of eating. After all, blood was the only sustenance she needed now, and she had even been declining to fulfil that basic need; she feared that she could lose control without Damon by her side. Her heart ached just thinking of him. She missed him.

But she wasn't allowed to. He had made that clear enough during their one phone call on Christmas Day. She had been pleasantly surprised when he answered after just two short rings; her previous calls had gone straight to voicemail and her messages had gone unanswered. However, she soon realised why he had answered her call. He wanted her to move on. He thought that they should spend as much time apart as possible in the hopes that the effects of the sire bond would weaken. The sire bond wasn't what caused her to miss him, though. She simply did.

It was the first time since he'd first come into her life that he hadn't been around. It had been nearly a week without him and she felt like she was missing a part of herself. She needed to see his smirk, his devilish blue eyes and his wriggling eyebrows. She needed to hear his teasing comments, sexual innuendos and she would even take his criticism on her cooking skills if it meant he was there with her. She needed to smell his musky scent; a mixture of warm spices, bourbon and, what she deemed to be, the aroma of his raw, sexual magnetism. She needed his touch; the gentle brush of his fingers that caused shivers to travel down her spine and goosebumps to rise on her skin or the the rough grab of his hands that ignited a fire beneath her skin and lit her whole body up with sexual desire. Either would be perfect, right now, she wasn't feeling picky.

"Miss?"

Elena jumped, turning around to face the old man that had interrupted her musings. "Sorry," she muttered, realising she was standing in the middle of the aisle, the basket on her arm practically blocking access for anyone else.

Throwing some more high fat, high sugar foods into her basket, she made her way over to one of the tills. She breathed deeply, trying desperately not to think about the amount of people surrounding her in the queue and how long it had been since she had last fed; with Damon gone and Stefan away on some mission with Klaus, the stock of blood bags at the Boarding House had dwindled down to non-existent. She tried to ignore the pounding of their hearts and the blood rushing through their veins. She was in control.

At least, that was what she was repeating to herself like a mantra. As she moved towards the cashier, her pace faltered and she tripped over her laces. _No. _She ground her teeth and set her basket in front of the young, blonde girl behind the counter. She'd smelled it as soon as she'd stepped from the queue. Blood. The universe was a cruel entity because, of course, it would be just her luck that she would be served by the cashier that had a plaster wrapped tightly around her finger.

She tried holding her breath, hoping that it would both block the scent from igniting her hunger and help in maintaining her control. Her eyes were uncontrollable, however, drawn so intently to the flesh-coloured plaster that collected what she craved. She could sense the blood pulsing sluggishly from her wound; a paper cut, if she wasn't mistaken. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as she eyed the minuscule red droplet that had stained the white counter. Barely two millimetres wide but it threatened to destroy her entire world.

Elena shoved the cash towards the girl, ignoring her offended expression as she quickly muttered to give the change to charity before she sped out of the store with her shopping. She gasped loudly when she moved through the automatic doors, the icy, winter air freeing her lungs and clearing her head. God, she had been so close. _Too_ close.

She walked down the street, trying desperately not to recount the thoughts that had been going through her head when she'd stared at the blood. They were too dark. She hadn't just wanted to bite and feed then, she'd had the strange need to tear and rip instead. She didn't want to make it pain_less_, she wanted to make it pain_ful_. She didn't want to feed from the quiet, compulsion-controlled woman, she wanted her screaming and crying as she begged for her life.

Falling into an alley, she clutched at the wall as her breaths heaved from her chest. It wasn't right. She knew she was a vampire but she wasn't _this _kind of vampire. She wasn't sadistic. At least, she didn't think she was. Looking around and noticing the empty street, she took her chance and sped away.

* * *

"Elena, you okay?" Jeremy frowned, eyeing his sister warily when she stumbled through the door, shutting it tightly behind her as she slid the lock firmly in place. "You look pale... if that's even possible."

She nodded shakily, patting down her hair that had been ruffled by the wind. "I'm fine." She smiled, though by the dubious look in his brown eyes, she realised that he knew it was fake. Wanting to avoid an interrogation, she ducked past him and quickly made her way into the kitchen.

Avoiding the gaze she felt burning through her head, she flitted around the kitchen and placed her purchases in the barren cupboards. She smiled softly, watching as they gradually filled up and became reminiscent of just a few months ago when there had been more mouths to feed in the Gilbert household.

"So," Jeremy drawled. She almost grinned at how much he sounded like Damon but it faltered on her face when she realised that she wanted to hear the raven-haired, blue-eyed vampire doing it instead. "How was Christmas with Bonnie and her dad?"

Elena shrugged her shoulders, moving to lean against the sink. "It was okay. We reminisced about when we were kids and ate turkey."

"Sounds riveting," Jeremy teased, catching the dishcloth she threw at him before it could collide with his face. "Mine wasn't much better."

"Why?" Elena frowned.

She had wished that she could have been with him on Christmas but Damon and Professor Shane thought that they should wait a little while before testing out the whole 'Jeremy-being-hypnotised-not-to-kill-her' strategy for a prolonged period of time. Apparently, after a week away from her, he was deemed safe to live with and she had awoken to him knocking on the door that morning.

Jeremy folded his arms across his chest, his muscles bunching as he did so. She frowned, seeing the toned and defined lines of his arms. Had he always been so big or was that a side-effect of the hunter's mark? After all, he'd need strength to fight vampires. She shook her head and concentrated on the words that were falling from his lips.

"I spent most of the day training with Professor Shane and Damon watched on from the sidelines. Then, we ate Christmas dinner while Damon disappeared to look out over the lake."

"Oh," she murmured, lowering her eyes to the floor.

"He missed you," Jeremy informed her, eyeing her carefully. "And before you ask, I could tell because every time your name lit up on his phone, he'd zone out. I mean, he didn't hear a word we said when your name flashed across the screen and he looked physically pained when he had to decline your call."

"He didn't have to," she murmured, too quiet for Jeremy to hear. She cleared her throat and began tapping her fingers against the counter nervously. "Did he come back, too?"

"Yeah," Jeremy nodded, noticing how her eyes lightened with that tiny bit of information. "He's staying at the Boarding House. He thought I should come back for New Year's before we head back out again."

Elena made a sound of agreement, frowning when the sound of Jeremy's heart seemed to be the only thing she could hear. It was so loud, so rhythmic, so... _tempting_. She felt her gums begin to ache, her fangs begging to be released as her eyes focused on his neck. The delicate membrane of skin above his pulse point vibrated steadily, each pump sending his blood around his body. She could just imagine sinking her teeth into that exact spot, burying them deep into his aorta before slicing her fangs across his skin. Blood would pour then, coating every surface available as the bleeding became more and more uncontrollable. He would stumble away from her, his eyes wide with fear as he clamped his hand around his neck, trying to staunch the blood flow.

She'd allow him to leave the kitchen, stalking after him as he collided with the walls in the hallway. Letting him to reach the front door, she'd permit his hand to graze the doorknob before throwing him to floor. She'd snap his leg with her foot. A hunter at her very mercy and she would take great pleasure in killing him slowly.

"Elena?"

She gasped, quickly turning to hide her fangs and protruding veins. No, this couldn't be happening. He was her brother. She wasn't supposed to want to hurt him, she was supposed to protect him. Closing her eyes, she gripped the counter, ignoring the crack that sounded beneath her hands.

"Stop," she pleaded when she felt his hand land on her shoulder and squeeze it tightly. "Just give me a minute, Jer."

His fingers reluctantly slid from her shoulder as he retreated to the other side of the room. "Go to him."

"Who?" she ground out, breathing deeply as she regained the control that had been slipping through her fingers.

Jeremy shook his head. "You know exactly who I'm talking about."

She turned her head, meeting her brother's eyes; whatever she'd been expecting to see (disgust was on the top of her list) was very far from the mark. All his eyes held was understanding. Understanding of her condition? Understanding of how she needed to be somewhere other than with him? Understanding of her feelings for Damon? Whichever one it was, she found she was grateful for it. She nodded her head appreciatively and made her way out of the kitchen.

Pausing in the doorway, her hand anchored to the door jamb, she turned her head and smiled at her brother. "Happy New Year, Jer."

Jeremy returned the sentiment with a quick command of "don't do anything I wouldn't do" that would have had her blushing had she still been human. She waved him off and left the house. Only one destination was on her mind.

* * *

Elena slammed her hands against the wood, stopping Damon from closing the door. She knew that he was stronger than her and, if he had really wanted to, he could have closed the door.

"Hi," she whispered, her eyes mesmerising all of the features she had been missing. He was still just the same; she didn't know why she expected him to look any different. He was a vampire, after all, frozen in time for all eternity.

"Hi, back," he nodded, his hand still clenched on the edge of the door as if he would close it at any second. She wasn't sure he wouldn't. "I thought you agreed that we needed time apart."

"I didn't agree to that," she scoffed, the mere thought causing a bitter taste in her mouth. "I simply accepted it because it was what you wanted."

"The sire bond," he expanded, composing his features into a mask of indifference.

"No," she refuted, shaking her head. "God, you're clueless, you know that? The only reason I left was because I thought that if I did what you wanted, it would only be a matter of time before you realised that what I feel for you is real."

"Elena," he groaned, thumping his head against the door. "Don't."

"Fine," she acquiesced, ignoring his surprise at her easy agreement. "I didn't come here to discuss any of that anyway."

"What is it then?"

She swallowed deeply, "I need your help."

"Of course you do," he laughed humourlessly.

Stepping out of the door way, he pulled the door open wider for her entry. She heard the soft click as he closed the door and the familiar shuffling of his footsteps behind her as she made her way into the parlour.

"So, what is it?"

She couldn't hide the hurt that covered her face. Of course, he would be like this. All business, no pleasure. "I keep having these... urges."

Damon rolled his eyes, collapsing onto the couch as he stared up at her. "They're called cravings and when you feel them, you go snack on a human or have a blood bag. I thought I taught you that in Vampire 101."

"I know that, Damon," she asserted, her hands wringing together nervously. She kept her eyes focused on him, if she wavered then she would think about that night; the glasses they drank from, the carpet that they danced upon, the wall she slammed him into, the lamp she knocked over, the fireplace he pressed her against. All of it.

"Then, what is it, _E-lena_?" he smirked, though his eyes didn't twinkle with the same humour. "Feeling a bit frisky and thought you'd hit up the vamp that can rock your world?"

She ignored his bait, knowing that he was looking for any excuse to get a rise out of her. "It's... bad. I don't just want to feed any more. I want to play and torture and kill. I've imagined it; breaking the bones, tearing the neck, watching their life slowly slip from their body. Everything, Damon, and it's terrifying me."

"Hey," he soothed, rising from his position on the couch before stepping in front of her. Cupping her face between his hands, he bent his knees so they were at eye-level. "You're okay. There's nothing wrong with you, sometimes this just... happens. It's in your very nature to want to do that and, every now and then, it will creep up on you."

"So, I'm not a ripper?" she asked earnestly.

"You're not a ripper," he assured her, swiping his thumbs across her cheekbones. Stepping back, he let go of her reluctantly. "Drink a little more regularly and you should be fine. Maybe have more blood bags for now until the urges disappear."

"What," she paused, biting her lip in consideration before she continued. "What if I want to indulge in them?"

Damon's brow shot up his forehead as his eyes widened. "I'd say that that could be very dangerous."

"Not if you come with me," Elena urged, reaching out to grab his hand. When he didn't remove it from her hold, she tangled their hands together.

"I-I can't," he sighed, shaking his head.

"Please, Damon," she begged, bringing their joined hands to her chest. "I need this. I need to get it out of my system but I don't want to kill anyone."

"So you just want to torture them?" he scoffed, staring at her dubiously. "What makes you so sure you wouldn't kill them?"

"I won't if you're there," she confided. "You'll stop me, I know you will."

"Right," he nodded in understanding. "Only I will be able stop you because, as your sire, you will want to obey my orders. I get it, Elena."

"No, you don't, Damon," she refuted, gripping his hand tighter when he fought to remove it from her grasp. "You're the only one that understands me, understands _this_. I need you, Damon. _Please_."

Damon stared at her, his resolve wavering as she stared at him with her doe eyes that were slowly filling with moisture. "Okay," he sighed.

* * *

"Who's your victim?"

Elena surveyed the crowd of party-goers stumbling from the surrounding bars and clubs as they made their way into the street in preparation for the countdown to the new year. Weaving through the crowd, she noticed every face and every heartbeat but none of them were what she needed. She didn't want to harm an innocent, after all, that was what she had been. She had been an innocent dragged into the supernatural world and her fate wasn't one she wanted to pass on.

She was beginning to doubt her idea when she saw a man walk out of a nearby bar, a woman, who was clearly not in her right mind, was draped against his side. Interested, she linked her fingers with Damon's and tugged him through the crowd behind her. She passed by the hoards of other people, scraping against their backs and flat-out pushing them out of her way when they refused to move.

Hearing a soft whimpering, she hastened her pace until she arrived at the entrance of the alleyway she had seen the man and woman disappear into. She heard a moan, one she could tell was of pain, and then the hiss of a zip opening echoed in the quiet, dingy alley. Letting go of Damon's hand, she stalked forward and found the man behind the bin; the woman was pressed against the wall, the man nestled between her thighs as her head slumped on his shoulder.

"Hey, buddy," she grinned wickedly, enjoying as his heart accelerated at being caught unaware. "She doesn't look all that up to it."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he spat, pinning her with a glare that was supposed to be menacing. When she thought of what she could do to him, his green-eyed glare seemed utterly pitiful.

She looked around him, noticing the woman sliding down the wall. It was obvious she had been drugged; her blood pumped around her body sluggishly and with every fluttering of her eyelashes, she noticed the woman's distinguishable, dilated pupils.

"I'm nobody," she shrugged. "I think you should let her go."

"Well, nobody," he snarked, sneering at her. "We were actually going to have some fun, so if you could, take a hike."

She supposed he could be classified as good looking; a broad back with muscled shoulders suggested he played a sport of some kind, possibly football, his stylish, brown hair led her to believe he was in college and his perfect teeth shone brightly in the moonlight.

"It's your lucky night," she arched her eyebrow, smiling at him sexily. She noticed the shift in his posture immediately, the slight relaxation in his shoulders and lust in his eyes as they trailed over her outfit; a skin-tight, strapless black dress that hugged her curves and red heels that practically screamed promiscuity. "I'm sure I could be a lot more fun than her." She winked at him, trailing her finger along his spine.

"Oh, really?" he smirked, moving away form the woman as she fell to the floor, "because I'm looking to have a certain kind of fun."

"Then I'm your girl." She bit her lip teasingly, sliding her hands along his chest as she slowly stepped back against the opposite wall.

"Damon!" she sing-songed, grinning wildly when he appeared beside her.

"Woah," the man exclaimed, trying to step back but Elena's hands held him in place.

Elena tilted her head to the woman, ordering, "Take her inside."

"You got this?" Damon tilted his head towards the man, finding a strange sense of pride blooming in his chest when Elena nodded eagerly.

"I'm all over it," Elena purred, gently shooing Damon down the alley.

"Look, I-I-" the man stuttered. "I wasn't going to hurt her."

"Oh, buddy, I knew you weren't," she pouted adorably, running her fingertip along his jawbone. "Because I'm going to be the one doing the hurting tonight."

With that, she unsheathed her fangs and slammed him into the opposite wall. He yelled out as his back collided with wall and he flinched away from her. "Let me go!"

"Sorry," she shrugged, "no can do. You see, I'm thinking she's not the first girl you've tried to rape. I'd say that you've been successful in the past and what kind of citizen would I be if I just let you go on doing what you've been doing?"

"Please," he begged, pushing against her shoulders feebly. "Don't kill me."

"I'm not going to kill you," she assured him before leaning in to whisper into his ear, "I'm going to make you wish you were dead."

Elena reared back, her fangs glinting in the moonlight as his terrified scream was lost amongst the noise of the festivities. She lurched forward and sunk her fans into his aorta, tugging them to the side so her bite was as painful as possible. He struggled beneath her and she kneed his thigh, shattering the bone with one blow. He gurgled in pain, collapsing on one side as she dragged him up the wall.

She gnawed against his throat, drinking in his blood as she simultaneously made the bite wider and wider. She slammed her hand against his shoulder, growling delightfully when she heard a satisfying crunch. She felt as the fight slowly left his body and he slumped against the wall. Feeling the blood flow slowing beneath her tongue, she retracted her fangs and dropped him unceremoniously to the ground.

He fell in a heap, his head scraping against the brick wall as he groaned unconsciously. She stared down at him, not an ounce of pity in her heart, and with one last glance at him, she decided one final act was in order. Stepping forward, she nudged his knees open and with one swift kick, landed her heel in his crotch. One thing was for sure, he wasn't going to be raping any women ever again.

Bending down, she slit her wrist and allowed a couple of drops to leak into the wound on his neck. It was just enough to heal her bite but not enough to heal the other injuries she had created. Slapping her hand against his cheek, his eyes opened wearily and she connected her incessant stare with his.

Feeling her eyes dilate, she spoke to him softly. "You're not going to remember what happened here in this alley but you're going to understand that you deserved every last injury that you incurred."

A slow clapping sounded behind her and she spun, breathing a silent sigh of relief when Damon stared at her proudly. "Nice work."

"Thanks," she muttered, stepping towards him. "Do I get a reward?"

He gulped, noticing the hungry look in her eyes. He began to shake his head when she pressed her body against his. "No," he groaned, feeling her curves mould to the hard planes of his body. "We can't."

"We already have," she refuted, slowly swiping some excess blood from her lips onto his. Before he could react, she had smashed their lips together and slammed him into the wall.

He had already had his first taste of her and he had barely found the control he needed to resist her at the lake house but now, she was against him and her lips were on his, and he found his control crumbling to pieces. He surrendered with a groan of defeat and threaded his fingers through her hair as he nibbled on her bottom lip. Turning her around quickly, he reversed their positions and pinned her to the wall. Pressing his chest to her back, he ducked his head and whispered into her ear, "I think you need to be roughed up."

Elena moaned in approval, feeling his growing arousal press against the small of her back. His hands skimmed up her sides, dipping below the hem of her dress as his palms slid along her silky skin. She breathed harshly when his fingers played with her through her panties, his thumb circling around her clitoris until she was shaking. She begged silently, thrusting her hips against his hand as he slipped his fingers into her panties and slowly found her wet heat. They dipped into her teasingly, giving her just enough friction to make her body go wild with her impending orgasm. As he felt her walls flutter, he removed his fingers.

Elena whimpered, trying to catch his hand when she heard the pop of his button and the zip of his jeans. She gasped as her dress was hiked up to her waist and her panties were torn from her hips but, before she could protest, he slammed into her. All conscious thought left her brain as he set a punishing rhythm that had her knees feeling weak. His hands rested on her waist as his hips moved relentlessly against her and her hands scraped against the wall.

The countdown sounded in the background but neither Damon nor Elena paid any attention to the chanting crowd. Digging her fingers into the bricks, she felt the dust coat her fingers as her orgasm overcame her. With a blissful scream, she came around him and carried him along with her. He spasmed inside of her before he fell forward, his teeth sinking into her neck. She arched her back, feeling as her walls fluttered once more with the sensation of him drinking from her throat.

She felt his body collapse against hers as he kissed the bite softly. "Well, that's definitely one way to start the new year off with a bang," he purred.

* * *

_I'd love to hear what you think! Amy xo_

_Twitter: _amygerrard_


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